Tuesday, 28 May 2013

Mick Warwick wrecked his first EP.

From the outset, Mick Warwick introduces his diction as 'drawing inspiration from… Justin Bieber's vocal acrobatics'. Need I say more?

As I clicked 'play', the banal whimpers that came through the speakers choked me into wanting to hammer myself into the floor and doze off at the same time.

I was afraid. As 'Create' came on, my brain instantly re-awakened the post-soviet memories and spun me back into a large, damp room covered in moulding wooden boards and peeling wallpaper with over-40s swaying in monotone endless circular rhythm with either vacant or positively pissed off expressions on their faces. That's a typical 'diskoteka' in 90s Moscow, a place where no-one should be brought back to, dead or alive.

Just as the memory starts to fade and the track begins to reach a level of mediocre, his whining pierces through the music and hacks it into tiny little miserable shreds. Mick's attention-seeking-Enrique-wanna-be-minus-the-tonality voice proclaims his desire to write music that is 'intended for the popular market' - going the way he is, Mick will be just as popular as Paris Hilton's one-hit wonder 'Stars Are Blind' (yes I also had to google it just to make sure that it did actually exist in the space-time continuum). Lost in concern for how he will be depicted by the mainstream public, Mick dumbs himself down and spills the few drops of authenticity he may have ever had.

The absence of vowels from the title of his EP 'WRWCK' must have been an ironic statement for it's lack of personality and emotion. The poor guy is clearly in a confused daze, wasted on a concoction of tacky pop, a splash of electro, topped with rap, rock and a misplaced hint of latino - anyone's head would spin and lead you in a zig-zag motion towards the nearest toilet from that level of mixing. Not to mention his influences combine Bon Jovi, Queen, Drake and Justin? All of those placed in the same room will surely get just as awkward and confused as his (lack of) musical style.